Tim Marsh profiles a Welsh charity turning the tide against suicide through listening.
Brawd (pronounced brow-d as in eyebrow rather than broad as in wide) is a mental health charity formed in Wales by Neil Driscoll and some friends during the pandemic.
Neil Driscoll (far right) is a founder of the group
Neil’s work came to my attention when he helped a relation of mine who was really struggling; sitting alone, on a hill overlooking Cardiff, deep into the night and in a very bad place. Neil talked with him until dawn because, as he says, “If we can save just one person then it’s worth it.”
His motivation is based largely on empathy. Although he’s suffered some difficult episodes following problems at work, he isn’t recovering from addiction nor has he survived a suicide attempt. He simply felt he had to do something when the number of suicides of friends and acquaintances reached double figures during the pandemic.
You may not know that while it was a fall that left him paralysed it was a semi deliberate suicide attempt years later that came closest to killing my business partner Jason Anker MBE. A reckless overdose left him in a coma for several weeks with Doctor’s suggesting the life support be switched off. Luckily, his dad Fred refused and days later Jason started to recover. Much rehabilitation followed and despite a slight slur when he’s very tired, there are no lasting effects.
The aim of Brawd is to help and support men’s wellbeing through positive engagement, which according to its website means “being listened to and listening to others can help you feel supported, empowered and less alone”. A women’s section, Chwaer, which is Welsh for sister has also been formed. Please forgive the fact that this article is predominantly about men’s mental health but Jason and I are both blokes after all.
Brawd run twice-weekly, evening walk-in sessions which is open to anyone. However two years ago, Neil and his team endured an anxious wait in the village hall they had booked for their first session. Coffee and biscuits were left untouched as minutes ticked into the allotted time with no one coming through the entrance. Yet a shy young man knocked on the door, followed by another and then another and another. All together 16 men of all ages attended, and supported by word of mouth and BBC radio coverage the numbers have swelled substantially.
The team of volunteer facilitators are supported by a professional counselling service who help ensure that all sessions are run appropriately and individuals in need of urgent support are signposted to the right agency.
In addition, Brawd has a weekly ‘Walk ‘n Talk’ which takes place at a lake or country park; they also run a music group and a variety of weekend activities including walking football, indoor climbing, cold water dips. All funded by a small grant and car boot sales. The next project involves converting a horse box into a mobile coffee shop, however at the time of writing they are still looking for a horse box, so if you happen to have a spare one that you’re not using do get in touch!
As their visibility grows, Brawd is reaching more people and has even received support from Sir Tom Jones, who incorporated his hit, It’s not unusual, into the filmed video message. Alas, myself and Jason are unable to compete with this however on Friday 27 September Jason will be giving a talk on positive mental health for the charity in Cardiff, with the location so to be confirmed. Please do come along and check the website for details.
Then in October, in partnership with the British Safety Council, I’ll be releasing a collection of my short articles from over the years, many of which have appeared in SHP, with all the profits from the book going to charity.
A few years ago, the reason for death of a famous ex-England test cricketer at 55 would have been due to an undisclosed cause. Today, Graham Thorpe’s family talked openly about the fact that his death was a suicide and about his long-standing depression. In the same week, an Australian weatherman, Nate Byrne, announced live on TV that he had to hand back to the anchor as he was suffering an on-air panic attack. Encouragingly, the public response to Byrne’s incident was extremely positive.
Graham Thorpe in action for England’s test team
Where we once took people at face value, we know now that we can never really know what someone is going through. A stiff upper lip can be useful on occasions, but a killer on others. We’re aware that typically two out of ten people may be struggling. We should ask someone if they really are okay when they respond unconvincingly, “I’m fine thanks.” We need to ask high value/critical incident questions like, “How did you sleep okay?”, and gently enquire as to ‘why’ if they say they slept terribly.
We need to run tool box talks and ask people for their FI and FU scores and talk to those who score highly before we point them towards a hazardous tasks. We need to remember that good work is good for you because it brings meaning, purpose, banter and camaraderie. but bad work is bad for you. It’s therefore important how we treat our colleagues and how our organisational cultures are received.
To quote the ethos of Brawd, we need to “listen and be listened to”; and as we celebrate fifty years of the Health and Safety at Work Act; legislation that has contributed to the UK’s position as a world leader in safety with recent stats showing an average of less than 200 people killed at work annually (and of course any death in the workplace is too much), but compared to the 4,200 plus working of working age who kill themselves in the UK every year, Neil knew 10 of them personally.
As the Hollies (nearly) sang: The road is long, with many a winding turn … be a brother.
